


my home

by fuckboykaspbrak



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:27:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25568236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckboykaspbrak/pseuds/fuckboykaspbrak
Summary: richie tozier faces his anxiety about college nearing
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Mike Hanlon/Stanley Uris
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	my home

**Author's Note:**

> omg hiiii i literally havent written anything in a million years but im actually kinda proud of it!! i hope you life it omg!! bls feel free to comment any suggestions, or if you guys think i should write more! okie thats all enjoy :)

The tall lanky boy looked at the top of his phone screen which read 11:30 p.m., not that late he thought to himself. He got out of his bed, threw on a dirty Led Zeppelin shirt, slipped into some checkered vans, and walked out the front door. His parents were home, but they didn’t mind when Richie left the house as long as he didn’t make too much noise.They understood he needed to clear his head of the anxiety riveting thoughts that always managed to slip into his mind. This night in particular was really bad. 

He contemplated texting his boyfriend, Eddie, or maybe his best friend Stan, but decided against it. No use bothering them. He got into his 1959 light blue Chevy truck and just sat there for a few moments before opening up the middle console, reaching in and grabbing a strawberry puff bar. Eddie hated the smell of cigarettes and urged Richie to cut back to benefit his health, so they found the colorful, fruity bars to be a good compromise for the time being, even though Eddie still referred to them as “cancer sticks”. The tall boy sat in the vehicle a few moments longer, taking in one last drag before turning on the old vehicle.

He began driving through the small town of Derry, Maine, unsure as to what his destination even was. It was a cool spring night, and as he rode with the windows down he could feel the cold air against his skin. The song Heather by Conan Grey played softly through the stereo as he passed by the local McDonald’s. Eddie loves this song he thought to himself before focusing back on the long dark road in front of him. 

Richie took drives like this quite often. On occasion he would invite one of the other Losers to accompany him, providing a lighter to Beverly as she smokes a cigarette while her feet hang out the window, stopping sometimes so Stan can see a new bird he had read about in his book, talking about old cars with Mike, letting Bill throw new book ideas at him, encouraging Ben to follow his dreams, and trying his hardest to show Eddie a world that was hidden from him his whole life.

Richie loved the Losers more than anything else in the world, and there wasn’t a single thing he wouldn’t do for them, which is why he continuously grew more and more afraid as the conversations about college continued to arise. 

Everyone had heard back from their schools except him, and he remembers each moment one of his friends shared the news with the group.

Bill was the first person to make his decision, he applied for early admission at Columbia New York to be a creative writing major, and much to his relief he heard back saying he was accepted by early December. 

The Losers had two weeks left until they finished their second to last semester at Derry High. The group of teens all greatly anticipated the upcoming break and they were talking about their plans during their lunch break. 

“So Spaghetti Head, still want help studying for your math final this weekend?” Richie said while joining the rest of the group at the table they claimed as theirs every day since sophomore year when the Losers Club was formed. 

Eddie feigned a tone of annoyance that was easily given away by the smile the spread across his face. 

“First of all, that’s not my name. Secondly, yes, please Rich I have no idea how I’m gonna pass calculus. I don’t even know why I took the stupid course when I’m so bad at math!”

Everyone snickered a bit at Eddie before Bev spoke up, “It’s because you hoped to be in the class with Richie but the anti-gay lords in the sky decided against it.”

Eddie pouted a bit without even noticing, which signaled Richie to say, “Don’t worry your pretty little head Eds, I can come over Saturday to help you prep for the big test.”

Eddie leaned into Richie’s side a bit before saying, “Thank you Chee,” causing Ben and Stan to fake gag at the pair. Though they were all accustomed to Richie and Eddie’s ways, they still enjoyed giving them a hard time on occasion. 

Bill cleared his throat before speaking, “Not to break up this little moment, but I have a bit of an announcement to make.” He paused for a second for dramatic effect as he would describe it, but Stan just viewed it as annoying.

“Are you gonna say something Bill or just sit there.” Stan threw out flatly. 

Richie laughed, “It’s a mere effect, Staniel, let the man have his moment.” That just pulled an eye roll out of Stan and a slight chuckle from the rest of the group.

“Thank you, Richie. As I was saying, this is kind of big and I haven’t told anyone about this yet, but I got into Columbia New York for creative writing!”

The group went around saying their congratulations and exchanging hugs with Bill. They were all happy for their friend, especially Richie, but this broke a small part of him that he didn’t even realize at the time. A piece of his home would be gone soon.

He thought about this memory as he drove past the local bookstore that Bill would stop at to get inspiration for new story ideas. He and Bill had been friends since the 2nd grade when Stan had introduced him to both Bill and Eddie. One of the best days of my life thought Richie. He took a few hits from the sweet-tasting puffbar, letting the strawberry linger on his lips. 

As he continued driving he came across the quarry where the Losers would all spend a lot of their time, but Stan especially loved to look at all the different birds he found there. Stan was the second person to get into their dream school.

The Losers all got together at Richie’s for their annual New Year’s Eve get together. The group sat in a circle in the living room with a red cup in hand, each containing a different beverage. They all reflected on the past year with smiles on their faces. Richie liked thinking about the happy memories he has from the past few years, as it was one of his best ones yet. The idea of leaving the life he was living behind along with all the people in it scared him most of all. As Richie’s spiraling thoughts of the future continued to deepen he was interrupted by Ben breaking the peaceful silence the group rarely found themselves in. 

“So, what are we gonna do next year?” Ben asked rather tentatively, the arm he had around Bev’s shoulder pulling her in a little tighter.

For once, Richie was speechless, and a little angry even. Why sour a moment as nice as this one? Before Richie could truly react Bev spoke up. 

“We’ll celebrate at Richie’s like always, but we’ll have a couple more stories to share next time around.” She always knew what to say to make things better. Ben reached in and placed a soft kiss on Bev’s cheek as a way to say thank you. 

Richie was still feeling a little unnerved though, and Eddie could tell. He interlocked his fingers with Richie’s and rubbed his thumb softly against the back of his hand, looking up at the boy that still towered over him when sitting. 

“You okay, Chee?” He asked softly so that only Richie could hear.

“I’m doing swell, spaghetti, why ya ask?” He responded, doing a bad job at covering up his worries. 

“You don’t have to lie to me Rich, it’s okay. How about we talk tomorrow once everyone leaves?” he said softly. Eddie knew Richie better than anyone else and vice versa. The two were made for each other and anyone who knew them both could vouch for that. Richie just nodded his head and kissed the top of Eddie’s head before bringing the smaller boy closer into his side.

The two boys were brought back into the world around them when Stan spoke up. 

“Hey, I have something to tell you guys about,” the curly-haired boy said a little more nervously than he had intended. This was good news and he knew that, but he also knew what it would do to Richie, even if the taller boy wouldn’t admit it. “I was recently accepted at Pace University in New York.”

Much like last time everyone hugged and congratulated Stan, allowing the joy of the moment fill the room, but deep down Richie knew that there went another piece of his world. 

Richie continued his drive, ready to see where the car took him next. He took these drives so often that it didn’t even feel like he was driving the car anymore, rather he was just along for the ride. He considered seeing if Eddie was still up, as only 15 minutes had passed since he first left his house, only making it 11:45 p.m, but he decided against it. He didn’t want to risk waking him up. The red light lit up next to the speedometer, signaling that the truck needed gas. He pulled into the nearby 7/11 and began to fill up the tank, stopping inside to get a pack of cigarettes to keep for Bev, a new puffbar for himself, and Eddie’s favorite strawberry chapstick. As Richie walked back to the vehicle he stopped to look at the table that was outside the small gas station. He and Bev would sit here alone late at night to escape the world. She even told him she would be leaving for college at that very table, and he remembers it so vividly.

It was a cold January night. Richie wore black jeans, another band t-shirt, and a thick, black bomber jacket that had R+E embroidered on the front. Bev had gifted it to Richie for his 17th birthday their junior year, and he absolutely loved it. He wore it any chance he could, and when he didn’t have it on you could likely find it on Eddie. Bev wore a similar looking jacket except hers was light blue with roses embroidered onto the sleeves. Her hair was a little unruly, but the bright red color stood out against the dark of the night.

The pair sat there simply enjoying the others company. Bev was smoking a cigarette while laying on top of the table and looking up at the stars while Richie stared off into the distance. His silence was the first sign to her that something was bothering him. “Got something on your mind, Tozier?” She asked without much weight behind her words signaling that he didn’t have to talk about it if he didn’t want to.

“Do you ever get scared about college, Bevvie? I mean what if we don’t get in, or don’t stay friends, or can’t afford it, or get kicked out, or-” Richie rambled on before Beverly sat up and grabbed onto the boy’s face.

“Listen to me when I say it’ll all be okay. As much as we all hate it, you’re the smartest one in the group, and you don’t even have to try to get that title. You’ll get scholarships and stuff so don’t even worry about cost, and c‘mon now Trashmouth, you know we’ll all stay friends forever, don’t ever forget that Richie.” She said with a hint of sternness in her tone to ensure he understands. The peaceful silence consumed the moment before Beverly speaks again.

“I do have something to tell you though, I was going to wait to tell everyone at once, but you deserve to know now.” Her words caused Richie’s head to turn and face her as he awaited the next words to come out of her mouth. He knew she got into a school she liked, but where?

“I got into the Pratt Institute in New York,” she said excitedly. Richie was happy for her, he truly was, but he couldn’t help but feel a little saddened by the news. The good thing was that New York wasn’t that far from Derry, so they could make it work.

He flashed her one of his famous Tozier smiles before saying, “ That’s so good Bevvie, I’m so proud of you!” Engulfing the petite girl into a big hug. 

After he finished pumping gas he got back into the truck and continued his drive. He soon passed the library where he first met Ben a few years ago. Richie and Ben had met in middle school after he had gone to the library to get a book for a school project. Ben and Mike were the next two in the group to make a college announcement.

Richie, Ben, Mike, and Stan were sitting in the library working on a history project for school. The 4 boys went back and forth from entertaining Richie’s wild stories of chaos and actually getting the assignment done. 

“So that is how we got Eddie’s mom to buy a hamster named Zoomer,” Richie said, finishing one of his stories. Mike and Ben both smiled and the wild boy while Stan rolled his eyes. 

“I cannot believe you guys convinced Sonia to buy a hamster. Damn, I can barely believe you convinced Eddie to get one considering all of the germs.” Stan said dryly causing the three boys to chuckle at their stoic friend. That made Stan smile, he liked to make his friends laugh from time to time.

Mike thought about the words Stan said before speaking up. 

“Well, in comparison to other animals, hamsters aren’t all that dirty. Plus, Eddie loves animals, I mean you guys know what he’s like at the farm.” The boys all just nod in agreement.

“As much as I love talking about Eddie and hamsters, could we maybe get back to the project? It’s already getting late.” Ben said getting the group back on track. They worked for a few more hours before they decided to call it a night. As the group of boys were packing up their things, Ben and Mike received a ping to their phone at the same time.

“Woah what you guys got going on over there? A secret mom fucking association? I’m wounded boys, how dare you not count me in,” Richie said, feining a pain in his chest, but the two boys ignored him, quickly opening their phones and reading something before looking at one another and nodding.

“What is it, Mikey?” Stan asked softly, he could read Mike like no other. Mike and Stan had been together since sophomore year, their subtle yet romantic chemistry is something all the Losers had picked up on before the two boys did themselves. 

Mike and Ben made eye contact with one another and nodded before Mike spoke “Well I guess we can tell you guys before anyone else since you’re here with us.”

“Wait!” Ben stopped him, causing all the boys to turn to him, “I need to facetime Bev so she can hear too.” The rest just nodded understanding where he was coming from. Ben clicked a few buttons and the phone rang twice before a voice was heard on the other end.

“Hey, Benny, what’s up?” she said cheerfully. “Hi, Bev, you’re on speaker and I’m here with Mike, Richie, and Stan. Mike and I have some good news to share and I wanted you to be able to hear.” She gave a thumbs up from her side of the line signaling Mike to start talking again.  
“Well, Ben and I just got an email confirming our acceptance to Cornell University!” He said with a big smile on his face. Bev congratulated them both and asked Ben to come over, and Stan pulled Mike into a tight embrace. Richie congratulated both boys but couldn’t fight off the thought in the back of his mind that he just lost another two pieces of home.

Richie continued his long drive, soon finding himself parked outside of the Kapbrak household where he’s been hundreds of times before. He sat in the driver’s seat, taking a hit of the strawberry vape getting lost into his world of thoughts. Eddie had been the most recent Loser to find out about college, and he told Richie in the exact spot he was in now. 

It was about three weeks ago, the two boys had just finished one of their infamous picnic dates at the quarry. They were driving to Eddie’s house because he needed to get dropped off in time for dinner or his mother would throw a fit. 

“I love this song,” Eddie said turning up the volume to make the song Telescope by Cage the Elephant heard from the inside of the comfortable truck. One of Eddie’s favorite things was to sit in the car with Richie while listening to music. The taller boy looked over at his boyfriend and just admired him for a few moments before focusing back on the road. They soon arrived at Eddie’s house, the pair was early so they took advantage of the spare time and talked a little while longer. 

The conversation bounced from plans for their next date to new movies that were coming out before finally landing on the heavy subject of college. For most people, the idea of college was fun and exciting, but for Richie Tozier, it was a risk of losing the best parts of his life.

“So,” Eddie started, “I got into the University of California’s medical school.” The silence filled the truck, suffocating the two boys. Richie wanted nothing more than to be excited for Eddie, but he couldn’t muster it out of himself this time around. When it seemed to count the most Richie just started crying at the thought of everyone embarking on new journeys of their lives and leaving this one behind them. 

Eddie understood though, better than anyone else, and he wasn’t upset with Richie in the slightest. “Oh, Chee,” he said softly while consoling him, “It’ll be okay baby, I’m not leaving you, none of us are.”

The silence settled in a little more as Richie cried and Eddie held him, rubbing small circles into his back and providing soft words of reassurance every now and again. Richie was finally able to calm himself down and stop the tears from falling down his pale cheeks. 

“What am I gonna do Eds?” He said with a slight shake in his voice.

“We’ll figure it out together like we always do, and who knows we might just end up going to school together, I ber you’ll hear back soon. If you get in we can go together, or if you get into NYU you can go there too. No matter where you are, or how much space there is between us, we’ll make it work.” Eddie said smiling up to Richie. He always knows just what to say, Richie thought to himself. 

He was pulled back to reality when he heard a chime come from his phone, he looked down to see it was a text from Eddie asking if he was outside. Richie invited the young boy to come out and join him. It wasn’t a rarity for Eddie to sneak out of his prison-like household to join Richie on a drive or stay at his house for the night. After a few minutes, the smaller boy was opening the passenger door. 

“Hey Rich, I didn’t know you were coming by tonight,” Eddie said smiling

Richie laughed “Actually I came by for one of my weekly appointments with Mrs.K, but I simply couldn’t resist a drive around town with my Eds instead” The boy wiggled his eyebrows for a flare of comedic effect.

“Beep beep Tozier,” Eddie retorted while stifling a laugh and scooting closer to his goofy boyfriend. Richie undid his seatbelt and wrapped an arm around Eddie, kissing the top of the boys head. The two sat like this for a hours, even dozing off to the sound of the soft music in the background. 

As usual, Eddie was the first to fall asleep. Richie’s mind was still racing, he thought back to each memory of the Losers’ college announcements. He was at a loss on what he should do, on one hand, if he got into the University of California he could go with Eddie and they could live out their dreams of leaving Derry forever, but that would mean leaving the rest of the Losers behind too and he wasn’t ready to let go of them yet. On the other hand, though, if he gets into NYU and goes to school with the majority of the Losers in New York he’d lose Eddie, and the thought of that nearly killed him. He wondered why he hadn’t heard back from the two prestigious universities yet when Eddie had already heard back from the University of California, but that was always a thought he was able to shrug off. 

He tried his hardest to ignore it for the time being and enjoy his time with Eddie. He breathed in the smell of the smaller boy’s freshly washed hair, and within the next few minutes, he fell asleep. 

When the two boys woke up it was 7 a.m which meant Eddie’s mom would be up soon, so the boys decided to part ways for the time being. The Losers had all planned on hanging out later that day anyway, so they knew they’d see each other again within the next 12 hours. They said their goodbyes and closed their nice night by sharing a soft kiss before Eddie snuck his way back into the house. 

Richie then made the drive back home. When he arrived his parents were already up and getting ready to leave for work. “Hey, Mags I’m home!” He yelled out upon hearing noise in the kitchen. He walked into the large house to find his mother making eggs at the stove and a pile of mail on the nearby counter. 

“Hi, honey, glad to have you home. You had a couple of things in the mail for you, I think you should check it out.” She said cheerfully. Maggie Tozier was a morning person, but Richie never knew how she pulled it off so well. 

“Thanks, mom. I’ll take them with me upstairs” He said walking up to the pile of mail and grabbing the two envelopes addressed to him before making his way upstairs. Once he got to his room he plopped onto his bed finally able to get some good sleep.

Richie woke up hours later to chime after chime coming from his phone. Shit, he thought to himself, I forgot we were meeting up at Bill’s today. He quickly got out of bed, explained to the group what had happened, and got ready for the evening he had ahead of him. He was about to head downstairs and out the door when he noticed the two letters on his bed next to where he was sleeping. Oh fuck I forgot about these Richie thought. Upon closer examination, he noticed that the letters were from NYU and the University of California. He urgently opened both letters, scanning their content as fast as humanly possible. Great, he thought, I got into both. Richie wanted nothing more than to be able to avoid having to choose between the love of his life and all of his best friends. The lanky boy slowly sat back down on his bed and began to weigh out his options. After another 15 minutes of contemplation, he finally came to a conclusion. 

He then went downstairs, got into his truck, and drove straight to Bill’s.

“Hey there Billy Boy!” He said with a bright smile after knocking twice upon his greatly awaited arrival. He hugged the auburn-haired boy that stood in front of him before stepping inside the cozy household. The rest of the group was found in the living room watching a movie. Everyone took their time saying hello and allowing Richie to settle into his regular spot next to Eddie. The group found themselves in a rare moment of comfortable silence throughout the movie. Though Richie would normally be the one to break that, he was too busy thinking about the news he was planning on sharing after the movie ended.

Richie finally broke the silence as the end credits began to slide down the screen. “Alright you guys I have something to tell you all,” he said sheepishly. Everyone’s heads turned towards Richie to hear what he had to say.

“So my college acceptance letter came into the mail today, and I got into NYU,” he said with a glint of excitement in his eye, but he couldn’t ignore the small look of disappointment hidden behind Eddie’s forced smile. 

Everyone began to congratulate Richie, but he cut them off “but that’s not all, I also got into the University of California,” with that Eddie’s face instantly shot up, and Richie knew right away that he had made the right decision. 

The group began cheering and congratulating him before Ben asked the question they were all thinking. “Wait, but which one are you gonna go to?”

“That’s a pretty complicated question, don’t ya think Haystack?” Richie teased trying to stall from the part of the conversation he had hoped to avoid.

“Not really,” Stan said answering for Ben.

“Well, shit if you put it that way Staniel I’ll be straightforward as well,” Richie responded with a hint of seriousness in his tone “I plan on attending the University of Eddie’s mom where she gets to ride the trashmouth train all night long, TOOT TOOT” he paused to look around the room, everyone’s face was absolutely priceless.

Though the moment didn’t last long as everyone interjected with “beep beep Richie!!”, but Richie just laughed with everyone else before genuinely answering Ben’s question.

“Okay, okay but in all seriousness, this is one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make, and the last thing I wanted was to make any of you feel like I chose someone over you because that wasn’t the case at all. I have decided to attend the University of California this fall.” the small boy said with an anxious smile on his face, but he instantly felt better when he saw the look on Eddie’s face. 

“Cmon Rich, did you really think we’d hate you because of the school you picked? It’s not like we won’t be friends, apparently, I’m stuck with you forever.” Stan said dryly, but the smile on his face gave away the sincerity of the remark. 

The group then went around congratulating Richie, and Eddie even gave him an extra-long hug. After they were done they put on another movie, and Richie took a second to look around the room at all the wonderful people around him. As excited as he felt himself becoming to embark on this new journey with Eddie, he was glad to still feel like he had his home with him.


End file.
